


Between Two Yuuris

by Multiple_Universes



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Burlesque Club, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Burlesque AU, Confident Katsuki Yuuri, Eros Katsuki Yuuri, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humour, Katsuki Yuuri in Lingerie, M/M, Sarcasm, Sarcastic Sex, Sexy Katsuki Yuuri, Smut, Stripper Katsuki Yuuri, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, bad boy Yuuri Katsuki, gangster Yuuri Katsuki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 05:28:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14013201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multiple_Universes/pseuds/Multiple_Universes
Summary: One day a bad boy meets a burlesque dancer who knows all there is to know about seduction. Some tips are exchanged, a mad shopping trip happens and suddenly Victor finds himself in the company of two Yuuris. Will he survive until the morning after, or is this it for Victor Nikiforov?This fic uses Yuuris and Victors from my ficsComes LoveandBad Apple, but can be read without reading either of those two fics.





	1. A Mad Idea

**Author's Note:**

> With all the stuff I signed up for, I promised myself that the next fic I wrote for myself will be one inspired by Tessa and Scott, but here we are. (I have zero self-control, I'm sorry.)  
> This started out as a joke conversation and then turned into... well, this. I'm still not sure if I should've posted it and I have zero idea what to tag this fic hahaha.

Yuuri woke up that day with the strong feeling that something was very wrong with the world. Oh he _knew_ that there was something wrong with the world, a lot of things, actually. In fact, if someone asked him, he could probably make a list. No, that day was different: he felt that something fundamental was wrong.

Then again, it wasn’t surprising considering the fact that he woke up in bed alone that morning.

Aunt Liuda, tired of dealing with both of them at the same time, insisted that Victor stay with her for a few days without Yuuri.

She was old. She was Victor’s only relative, so they let her have her way.

Yuuri felt at a bit of a loose end and drove his motorcycle through the streets of St. Petersburg alone, but it didn’t feel right without someone clinging on behind him.

He turned into a little shady alley and pulled out his gun. Maybe he could kill some time with target practice.

But the universe refused to provide even this outlet for his frustration. Three empty back alleys later he got the message the universe was sending him. There would be no killing people that day.

 _It’s just two more days,_ he told himself, but even that thought didn’t help.

He couldn’t go back to an empty apartment, he just couldn’t. Victor had taken Makkachin with him, so even the dog wasn’t there to keep him company.

Feeling hungry, he walked into the first café he noticed in the street, hoping they would also serve something lunch-like, and froze in the doorway.

The universe had just tumbled out of the realm of the mildly sane and into complete and utter madness.

He stared at the lonely figure sitting all by himself at a table by the window and wondered if maybe leaving the apartment was the worst idea he’d ever had.

The figure looked up at him and the shock on his face must’ve been the same as the shock on Yuuri’s face. After all, the two of them looked exactly identical.

Letting his face settle into his usual unimpressed expression, he walked over to the table, his hands in his pockets. “What is a person like _me_ doing in a place like this?” He _hated_ the old cliché, but his mind refused to come up with something better.

“Right back at you,” the person who looked like him said.

He dropped into the chair across the table, called a waiter over and ordered the first thing he noticed on the menu.

Now he could see the little differences between the two of them: the makeup on the stranger’s face (the deep red lipstick and a touch of mascara), the way he draped himself over the table, the way he dressed, but most importantly – the lack of rings on his fingers.

“Yuuri Katsuki,” he told the stranger. “And you are?”

“Same as you,” the man said.

“Oh, I get it. And you have a boyfriend named Victor Nikiforov?” he asked. What the hell was going on? How could there be two identical people with the same name?

“Yes,” the man – the _other_ Yuuri – said emphatically. “Victor Nikiforov,” and something about the way he said that name told Yuuri exactly what kind of relationship theirs was.

The waiter arrived with Yuuri’s order and set it down on the table before him. He turned around and walked away, as if he hadn’t noticed two identical people sitting at the same table.

_Maybe he thinks we’re twins, or something._

“So what do you do?”

Yuuri, this Yuuri – oh god, he will need a lot of therapy after all this – caught the way the other Yuuri was sizing him up and smirked. “Are you hitting on me now?”

“Just curious.”

Yuuri made a sound to show that he wasn’t convinced. “Figure skating.”

“Ahh.” The other Yuuri rested his chin on his hands and gave a sigh. “I wish I could figure skate. Would you teach me?”

“Why?” the sarcastic Yuuri asked wearily. Why was he even bothering with this conversation? He should get up, pay for the food and go. Or better yet, just get up and go and let this Yuuri pay for the food.

“I promise to teach you a trick or two in return.”

“I doubt you can teach –”

The other Yuuri leaned really close and lowered his voice. “No one knows as many tricks as I do. _No one_.”

He couldn’t help the shudder that passed through him at those words. “Yeah?” he asked, acting as if he was unimpressed. “I know a lot of tricks myself.” He was bluffing of course, he could tell by this Yuuri’s expression just what he meant by the word “tricks” and he knew that what he himself knew could barely fit on one page, even with pictures.

Yuuri raised his cup and drank slowly, giving the other Yuuri an unblinking stare. “I doubt it,” he said as he set it back down. “I bet it’s all one big act and you had to ask someone to explain what to do. With pictures.”

The sarcastic Yuuri opened his mouth and then closed it again. God, their minds were running along the same lines of thought, weren’t they?

“And I’ll bet there are certain _things_ you’ve been avoiding out of fear.” He crossed his arms over his chest, looking triumphant.

Yuuri bristled at this. “You would avoid them too, if you met my Victor!”

“Maybe,” the trick expert conceded.

Yuuri, stone-cold killer Yuuri, had met his match and it was him. But he wasn’t going to give in without a fight, not to anyone, not even to himself. “And what do you do?” he asked in a tone of voice that suggested that he didn’t really care what the answer was, but was asking the question just to make small talk.

“Advertisements for lingerie, stripping, burlesque dancing, singing and just general seduction,” the man said as if reading the words off a business card. “Can I help you with anything?”

“I can take my leather corsets off without anyone else’s help, thank you very much,” Yuuri responded and ate as nonchalantly as possible.

“Oh _leather_! Thank god my imagination isn’t _that_ limited!” Yuuri rolled his eyes, beckoned the waiter over with his finger and ordered another cup of tea.

The waiter almost tripped as he rushed back to the kitchen to fetch Yuuri’s order.

“Do you flirt with everyone you meet?” Yuuri asked warily. He _hated_ people like this. Why did his clone, or secret twin, or whoever-he-was, have to be like this?

“I seem to have that effect on everyone,” Yuuri said with a smile and raised his shoulder playfully. “Jealous?”

Yuuri gave a cold laugh. “Of what? I have what I want, why chase for what I don’t want or need?” He raised his hand as nonchalantly as possible so that the ring on his finger would catch the light.

Briefly, very briefly, he caught the look on Yuuri’s face before it dissolved into a smile. “I’m sure you do,” he said.

 _Gotcha!_ he thought.

For a while neither of them said anything and then the other Yuuri gave a long and heavy sigh. “I don’t deserve it, anyway,” he whispered almost, but not quite, under his breath.

Yuuri said nothing. Something like pity stirred in his chest. Suddenly he _understood_. And, oh hell, didn’t he tell himself the same thing from time to time? Well, no, but he would’ve if he’d had some sort of conscience and this Yuuri looked like the kind of person who actually had one.

He watched this Yuuri and he knew, no more like _felt_ , that when it came to Victor he would do anything to make him happy.

_Hell, so would I!_

For some convoluted reason the universe picked that precise moment to remind him just _how much_ he missed Victor. “Damn!” he muttered. “I just wanted to wake up next to Victor this morning, why the hell is that so hard to give me?”

The other Yuuri gave him a look of pure surprise. “Did you have a fight?”

“No. He went to his aunt’s for a few days. We never fight.” He thought about this. “Okay,” he admitted, “we did once, but only because he was trying to throw his entire career out for me.”

Yuuri reclined in his seat with a smile. “Oh mine tried to do that too. I didn’t even know he was doing it.” He pushed his empty plate away and watched impassively as the waiter showed up to take it.

“Maybe there’s some sort of law of the universe,” Yuuri muttered. “Every Victor must try to throw away his career for Yuuri and…” he grinned, “and have a great ass.”

“Definitely a great ass,” Yuuri conceded and downed another gulp of tea. “And insist on waking up early, but falling asleep early as well.”

“Oh yours does that too?” He leaned forward, all hostilities forgotten for the present. “What about,” he lowered his voice, “leather? Does he insist you wear leather gloves when you’re having sex?”

“Leather gloves?” the other Yuuri giggled, actually raised his hand to his mouth and giggled. “No, he asks me to wear heels in bed. And then when we’re done and he sits up, takes my shoes off and kisses my feet, I feel like I could melt.” He sighed dreamily.

Yuuri fiddled with his spoon. “I can’t seem to handle him when there’s little children around.” He gave a sigh and then raised his eyes so they could flash angrily at the other Yuuri. “I can deal with little children on their own, alright? I can deal with corpses. I can deal with him when he wears a leather jacket and nothing else, but…” He made a frustrated sound and pulled his hand through his hair. “There was this little girl who wanted his autograph, so he picked her up in his hands and…” Even the memory was bringing blood to his face. “I’m starting to go soft, damn!”

The other Yuuri put a hand over his, making him raise his eyes. “I understand.”

“Do you?” He pulled a knife out of his pocket and leaned forward to whisper, “You see that guy over there? I can toss this into his back and not feel guilty for a second. Victor has this dreamy smile on his face and suddenly I’m done. No more killer Yuuri, just some sort of wet towel.”

The burlesque dancer chuckled. “It’s called love.”

Yuuri gave a non-committal grunt.

“I just had an idea,” the other Yuuri whispered.

“What is it?” he asked wearily.

“Are you free tonight?” he asked with a sly smile.

“If you’re about to ask me out –”

“In a _way_ ,” Yuuri admitted. “Why don’t you come with me and I’ll make sure you wake up next to Victor tomorrow morning? Or _a_ Victor, anyway?”

“What exactly are you suggesting?” This Yuuri looked like he was into all sorts of stuff and Yuuri was starting to wonder if he wanted to know. He resisted the urge to shift his chair away.

“I’m suggesting a ménage à trois,” Yuuri said and laughed. “Well, _technically_ , I’m not, but let’s just say a temporary one?”

Yuuri, this Yuuri, the don’t-cross-me-or-I’ll-shoot-you-and-not-feel-guilty-about-it Yuuri, wasn’t very good with languages. The words were French, as far as he could tell, but his time in Detroit had instilled in him a hate for the language. So his first – and only – thought was that this Yuuri was suggesting something really dirty.

“What the hell does that mean?” he exclaimed. “In normal terms, I mean.”

Yuuri laughed the laugh of someone who’d seen and done things others couldn’t imagine in their wildest dreams. “I’m suggesting a threesome. Do you understand what that means, or should I ask the waiter for some paper and pens and draw you a picture?”

 _I knew it. What the hell is wrong with his head?_ “And why do you think I’d agree to something like that?”

Yuuri leaned forward against the table. “I want to give my Victor a treat and, as inexperienced as you are, I think he’ll really enjoy this.”

He opened his mouth to snap back, but Yuuri interrupted him before he could utter a word.

“Frightened? Don’t worry, I won’t try to have sex with _you_. I’m only interested in Victor,” his eyes dug into Yuuri’s, “as are you.”

“Yeah, except this is _my_ Victor and not _yours_. They’re two different people.”

Yuuri gave a shrug. “Then we’ll visit them both. Surely your Victor will enjoy something like this.”

“My Victor will faint as soon as you try to do something. No, he’ll faint at the mere sight of you.” He rose to his feet. “This conversation is done.”

Yuuri laughed and reclined in his chair. “You’re frightened, I get it. You haven’t had anyone but him, have you?”

He spun around and snapped angrily. “Does it matter?”

“It doesn’t,” Yuuri admitted. “Well? What do you say? You never know, you might even learn something.”

 _Do I_ want _to learn something?_ Yuuri wondered. He saw the smug look on the other man’s face and knew that if he walked away now, the other Yuuri will have won. Sure, it would mean that Yuuri wouldn’t be tangled up in god knew what sort of sexual madness, but he wasn’t going to let this Yuuri win. Not without putting up a serious fight, anyway.

It was stupid. It didn’t matter and maybe that wasn’t the real reason he didn’t just walk out of there. Maybe he stayed behind because somewhere there was a Victor who, while not exactly like his Victor, would still be very pleased with this.

He dropped back into his chair and put his feet up on the table. “Alright. I agree.”

Yuuri scrunched his nose delicately at the sight of Yuuri’s feet on the table as if that gesture really disgusted him.

He studied his nails with a bored look. “So, what do I do?”

 

Two hours later they were in a lingerie store, studying the manikin in the display window as if they were two archaeologists before an ancient ruin.

The burlesque dancer kept throwing looks at the figure skater, as if hoping to catch some hint of embarrassment on his face, but Yuuri was damned if he was going to give him the satisfaction of catching him out like that.

“Excuse me,” the other Yuuri said, walking up to the woman at the counter. “Do you have that item in deep red?”

“And in black?” Yuuri added, his eyes still on the strange mix of leather and lace on the manikin.

“No, only in baby blue,” the woman answered.

As one man, they turned to look at her and raised their eyebrows almost in perfect synch with each other.

She burst out laughing. “Just kidding, boys.”

Yuuri pulled a knife out of the inside pocket of his jacket and sharpened his nails nonchalantly. “Oh that’s nice. We like a good joke, Yuuri and I.”

He watched her tremble. “So, sorry, sir and… sir. I… I’ll get the items right away, should I?”

They both nodded and she ran off to pick them up.

Yuuri walked around the store, picking out more items. He ended up with a whole pile of things and they headed to the fitting rooms together.

They took turns trying different items on and then walked around each other to see how the items fit.

“I like this,” the burlesque dancer said. “A mirror can only do so much and this is much better. I get a sense of how…”

“Everything sticks out?” Yuuri asked and shook his head. “If you start feeling me up, I’ll cut your arm off.”

“Do I really frighten you that much?”

“I’m not scared of anything,” Yuuri told him, turning around and glaring at him.

“Except threesomes and a stripper.”

He didn’t bother responding to that and stuck to threatening the store owner instead. That was how, thirty minutes later, they walked out of the store with half of the store merchandise completely free of charge.

“You’re actually very useful to have around,” the burlesque dancer said, bags full of lace, flowers, straps and leather in his hands.

“I’m so glad,” Yuuri muttered sarcastically. “Well don’t come to me the next time you need to do some shopping. This is a one-time deal.”

“I think you mean a one- _night_ deal.”


	2. Sandwiched

Victor came home feeling exhausted. As he went up in the elevator he thought guiltily about Yuuri. Dear Yuuri had the day off and was probably waiting for him to come home now, dressed in something that both flattered and revealed most of him.

He tried to come up with a good apology. _I’m not much use in this state,_ he thought. _Maybe we can go to sleep early and spend some time together tomorrow morning?_ Will he accept that?

He should’ve taken the day off, he thought guiltily. He should’ve stayed home and given Yuuri his full attention.

 _I’ll make you all your favourite things for breakfast._ But he knew in his heart that this wouldn’t be enough. Not enough to compensate for a day spent alone, for waking up in an empty bed, for having no one to talk to or spend the day with.

The elevator arrived and he stepped out with a resigned sigh.

When he got there he found the door to his apartment was unlocked and he stepped in, swallowing nervously. He knew what an unlocked door meant.

The first time he’d found an unlocked door, he’d rushed in, panicking, expecting to find Yuuri unconscious on the floor, the apartment turned inside out and everything valuable gone, only to be greeted by the sight of Yuuri sprawled out seductively on the sofa, wearing some new item of lingerie he’d bought and Makkachin bounding happily out to greet him.

Victor took a deep breath and opened the door. He removed his coat and hung it up in the hallway, turning around to greet Makkachin who’d just rushed out to greet him.

“What is Yuuri up to this time?” Victor whispered into Makkachin’s ear and got his face licked in response.

Gathering all his courage, he rose to his feet and walked into the living room.

He froze in the doorway, jaw dropping open and his knees buckling under him. His face turned bright red and he made a few steps to the nearest chair so he could lean against it for support.

Yuuri was lounging on the sofa in a gold thong, a pair of fishnet tights that sparkled in the light and a pair of heels that were nothing more than glittering criss-crossed straps on stiletto heels. A glittering lace top did a poor job of covering his chest. He lay on his side, propping up his head with one hand and resting his other on his thigh.

“Quite the sight, isn’t it?” a voice pointed out.

Victor turned and gripped the chair tighter, because there was _another_ Yuuri right there, but this one was in a leather body suit that left his legs, hands and chest completely bare. In fact, it did a poor job of covering his chest. He held a leather jacket over one shoulder in that eh-maybe-if-it-gets-colder-later-I’ll-put-it-on gesture. His hair was gelled back and a smirk played on his lips. He was in tall leather boots with stiletto heels to rival the other Yuuri’s.

“Did you wish really hard?” this Yuuri said. “Because I think the fairy of kinky wishes heard you.” Was that a wink or did Victor imagine it?

He swallowed nervously and looked back at the couch. Sure enough, the other Yuuri was still there.

With a smile and a wink, he slipped away from his spot and came up to Victor with a slight sway of the hips. “Hello darling. How was your day?”

He swallowed again. “G-good.”

“Up until now, I’ll bet,” the Yuuri in leather said. “Now it just went from good to amazing.”

He nodded weakly and dropped. Both Yuuris reacted fast, slipping the chair under him just in time.

“I think _our darling_ needs a drink,” the Yuuri in leather said.

The other Yuuri didn’t even look at him. “Do I need to remind you were the kitchen is?”

He opened his mouth to snap back, changed his mind and went to fetch a glass of water instead.

The other Yuuri slipped onto his lap and took his face with both hands. “I missed you,” he whispered and pressed his lips against Victor’s. The kiss started off delicate, just a light, hesitant touch and then Yuuri opened his mouth and Victor gave his whole self over.

“I leave you two alone for ten seconds and I come back to see you’ve started without me,” the other Yuuri cut in. “Why am I not surprised?”

Victor pulled away, feeling guilty.

There was something different about the Yuuri in leather. He looked just like the Yuuri sitting on his lap, but he acted like a completely different person. There was an attitude about him that suggested that, if pushed, he’d have no qualms whatsoever about shooting someone’s head off.

This should’ve frightened Victor. He tried to tell himself that the correct reaction was to be terrified and to stay away, but he found himself getting excited instead.

He took the glass of water from this Yuuri’s hand and drank.

“Maybe you’d prefer a shower instead,” the sarcastic Yuuri suggested.

Victor’s mind presented him, really treacherously, with the image of himself in the shower with both Yuuris and he choked on his water.

They knocked on his back until his throat cleared.

The other Yuuri motioned for his Yuuri (and he was really sure that these were his Yuuri and a different one now) to move and Victor suddenly found himself with a Yuuri sitting on each of his knees. Both leaned forward and kissed him on a cheek and Victor blushed deeper.

His Yuuri pulled a hand through Victor’s hair. “I’m going to change into something else and start us all off with a stripping routing,” he whispered.

“Yes, because if he stripped now, it would be a very quick strip and where’s the fun in that?” the other Yuuri chimed in.

“I can strip slowly too.”

Yuuri muttered something about getting tangled in straps, which earned him a sharp look from the other Yuuri.

Victor knew he should be interfering and breaking up their fight, but he found that just watching them was taking all of his self-control.

His Yuuri gave a long sigh. “Fine. Why don’t you decide, Victor? Do you want me to strip for you first, or should we go straight to the bedroom?”

His face burned as they both looked at him. “Please…” he said. The words got caught in his throat and all he could do was give a helpless nod.

The other Yuuri gave his Yuuri a theatrical wave. “Bye-bye.”

His Yuuri rose to his feet, gave the other Yuuri a warning look and left, his heels clicking against the hardwood floor.

The other Yuuri rolled his eyes. “Any bets on what he’ll be wearing when he comes back?”

“Um… Where did you come from?” Victor asked and winced mentally at how rude the question sounded.

“You mean you’re not just going to accept that there are two of me in the world and take advantage of the situation?” Yuuri teased.

Victor gave him a surprised look. “Why would I do something like that?”

“Good question.” But it was obvious that this Yuuri wasn’t going to explain anything. Not now, at least.

“He’s taking too long,” he said after a brief pause. “Let’s just start without him.”

But he made no move, just sat there on Victor’s lap.

Victor’s mind tried to come up with an explanation for what was happening, failed and presented him, instead, with a brief summary of the rest of his life in the company of two Yuuris. Or would’ve if it hadn’t started with the shower scene again and got stuck.

He imagined them both standing on either side of him, hands on his chest and back as water poured down on all three of them. The image was like something out of a shampoo commercial, except with three people instead of one and what the people did to each other would’ve banned it from most of the available channels.

“Having fun?” Yuuri whispered.

“I…” He realized he’d let his mind wander and turned redder.

But he was saved the embarrassment of answering by his Yuuri. All the lights turned off, except for the one in their bedroom and he noticed his Yuuri standing in the doorway, one leg raised against the doorframe. Music started to play, but the lights remained off.

“ _I’ve seen seasons come and go from winter sun to summer snow. This ain’t my first time at the rodeo_ ,” Yuuri sang.

“I didn’t realize he was going to give us a full musical number!” the Yuuri next to him muttered. “Good thing we both have a good voice.”

Victor wished he hadn’t heard that last comment, because the next image his overactive imagination presented him with was of two Yuuris singing, dancing seductively and stripping just for him.

His Yuuri flicked the light switch with his toe and Victor could finally make out every detail of his appearance. He was in a long gold dress that started out with two spaghetti straps on the top and went down to the floor, splitting only at Yuuri’s thigh. He was still in the same pair of stiletto heels as before, but the tights were gone now.

He sang slowly in a deep voice that went right through and reached right into the heart. He moved around the room to the music, draping himself over any furniture that came his way with the same smile still on his face.

“ _Come on fill your cup up. Looking for some good luck, good luck. Good luck to you_.” A leg wrapped around Victor, setting right between both of his legs. “ _Hanging like a fruit, ready to be juiced, juiced, juiced_ ,” he whispered into Victor’s ear and one of his hands stroked Victor’s chest. He slipped his fingers into one of Victor’s pockets as the other Yuuri reached for another.

“ _Living la dolce vita, life couldn't get much sweeter. Don’t you give me a reason that it’s not the right season. Babe, I love you a lot. I’ll give you all I’ve got_ ,” he sang on.

Yuuri pulled away to stand in front of Victor. “ _Yeah, you know that it’s true. I’ve been saving all my summers for you_.” He turned his back to Victor while swaying his hips. “ _Oh my body is ready, yes it’s ready._ ”

“So is everyone else’s,” Yuuri muttered.

The burlesque dancer pulled the gold dress up slowly, revealing his legs inch by inch. Calves, thighs…

The other Yuuri’s hands were around Victor, one sliding over his chest and the other trailing up his back.

The dress rose high enough to show off Yuuri’s bare buttocks and a fine gold chain that circled his waist. Victor gulped, unable to tear his eyes off the small chain that dropped between Yuuri’s buttocks.

He could feel the Yuuri next to him about to comment again and put a hand over his mouth.

He needed this moment to be silent, to last as long as his Yuuri would give him, with no other interruptions. Every part of him earned for Yuuri and there was something in just sitting there and letting the feeling sweep through him without acting on it.

The dress dropped and Victor felt the sarcastic Yuuri push his hand away.

His Yuuri smiled over his shoulder, gave a playful shrug and let both straps slip off.

…and the entire dress tumbled onto the floor.

Yuuri turned slowly. The gold chain around his waist wasn’t part of a thong. It just held several short gold chains that dangled like a curtain at the front, not covering anything at all. Victor did his best not to think about the chain at the back.

Yuuri slipped up close to him. He took the hand that Victor had silenced the other Yuuri with and placed two of Victor’s fingers in his mouth, pressing them against his tongue. He pulled them out and all Victor could think about was how wet they were.

“Oh look: Playboy brought to life,” the other Yuuri said and rose to his feet. “Okay, you had your stripping fun. I say we move on to the bedroom.”

They stood in front of each other, their hands on their hips, as if squaring up for a fight. His Yuuri was furious he’d been interrupted like this. Victor could tell by his face that he hadn’t finished everything he’d planned, but it was too late for that now.

“Top or bottom?” Yuuri pushed on, one eyebrow raised as a reminder that, whatever the other Yuuri’s response, he had his sarcastic remark ready.

“Bottom,” his Yuuri replied calmly. _I’m not going to be intimidated,_ every line of his body seemed to say, _no matter what you do or say._ “I got him worked up and ready, so I should get to enjoy my prize.”

Victor was having trouble breathing. One Yuuri was already too much for him to handle. Two was hard enough to think about and now they were arguing about who got to be where. It was drawing pictures in his mind he wasn’t prepared for in the slightest.

“Fine,” the sarcastic Yuuri said and walked back to Victor, circling him to stand just behind him. He put both hands on Victor’s shoulders and then slid them down to the middle of his chest.

His Yuuri was right in front of him, spreading Victor’s legs apart and dropping on his knees right between them. “Darling,” he whispered in a voice that sent shivers up Victor’s spine, “aren’t you warm in that suit?” Both of his hands slid over Victor’s inner thighs, meeting exactly in the middle.

Victor felt another shudder pass through his body.

“Let me help you with all these annoying clothes,” the sarcastic one whispered into his ear and undid the top button of Victor’s shirt.

His Yuuri’s eyes were locked onto his own as his slid one hand up and caught the top of Victor’s zipper, feeling around as it went, as if he’d forgotten just where his hand was (but this was his Yuuri and he would never forget a detail like that!). “And I’ll help you with your pants.”

Victor wanted to protest that, really, he could take them off himself, that the Yuuris didn’t need to go to all the trouble and, well, it was fine. He could… They could just have dinner. Or something.

His brain ground to a stop just as Yuuri undid the zipper and pulled both halves apart. Yuuri slid a hand over Victor’s inner thigh, the smile still on his face. It was getting harder to breathe even though the other Yuuri got halfway through the buttons of his shirt. His Yuuri teased him then: he pressed his lips against Victor’s underwear, making a grab with his mouth for anything that bulged.

“Yuuri!” Victor gasped, throwing his head back.

The other Yuuri trailed kisses down his neck. He’d pulled the shirt apart and placed his hands right over Victor’s nipples.

Victor moaned, unable to stop. They were going for his weakest areas, overwhelming him with too many sensations at once. And they both knew exactly where to go for too!

He lowered his eyes as he felt his Yuuri pull away.

“That lipstick will never wash off,” the other Yuuri whispered into his ear. “Let’s hope you never have to explain to anyone how it got there.”

Victor gasped for air.

Yuuri was pulling his pants down now and then his underwear. He didn’t bother pulling them off all the way, just enough to reveal those parts of Victor he was interested in at the moment and to give himself enough room to slip his head in.

There was a pause as the other Yuuri pulled away. Even he seemed to be interested in seeing what Yuuri would do next.

Both Yuuris exchanged a look and then both turned their gazes to Victor.

He had a helpless expression on his face and it was only made worse by how red it was. “Please…” he gasped out, not sure what exactly he was begging for.

“Victor is getting impatient, Yuuri,” the sarcastic one whispered, sliding his hands up to Victor’s neck and into his hair. He tilted Victor’s head back and shifted forward to put his shoulder behind it. His hands slid over Victor’s eyes. “Or would you rather watch, _darling_?” he breathed into Victor’s ear.

They waited for his answer.

Victor’s brain was scrambled. He couldn’t think a single coherent thought. “Watch…” he finally whispered.

Yuuri chuckled and took his hands away. He angled Victor’s head down enough for him to see.

His Yuuri pressed his cheek against one of Victor’s thighs. “I love you,” he whispered passionately.

He felt the sarcastic Yuuri’s hands tremble in his hair.

And then his Yuuri took what he wanted, making full use of his tongue. Victor’s whole body shuddered, but he wasn’t going to break eye contact with him now.

The second Yuuri merely watched, his fingers still in Victor’s hair.

As always, his Yuuri took his time, only using his mouth.

Finally Yuuri pulled away, a smile on his face and a gleam in his eyes.

“Well,” the other Yuuri said after a pause, “I think I’ve definitely learned something new today.”

“I told you that you would,” his Yuuri said, his hands circling around Victor’s thighs.

“Bedroom…” Victor breathed out.

The sarcastic Yuuri gave a soft chuckle. “You heard the boss.”

They pulled all his clothes off without another word and, then, much to the sarcastic Yuuri’s surprise, his Yuuri picked Victor up and carried him into the bedroom. Victor threw his arms around his neck and pressed his face against Yuuri’s chest. Yuuri lowered Victor gently onto the bed and prepared to follow him.

The sarcastic Yuuri held out his arm before the other Yuuri could climb over Victor. “I think you’re forgetting something.”

They had a short whispered conversation and left the room, only to return with two trays laden with strawberries covered in chocolate. His Yuuri was in the gold thong again and swung his hips in a way that should’ve been illegal as he walked in. He was in a lace peignoir that kept sliding off his shoulders. Victor had bought it for him several months ago and Yuuri kept it for special occasions.

The sarcastic Yuuri hadn’t bothered changing.

They climbed onto the bed, one on each side of him, taking the trays with them. Each Yuuri dropped onto his side, briefly pressed one hand over Victor’s chest, draped a leg over one of Victor’s legs and held a strawberry out over his mouth. Victor caught one with his mouth, lips sliding over the chocolate and then his teeth dug in, all the way through to the fruit and he bit a piece off.

Juice ran from the berry, trickling onto his lips and they both leaned down to lick it off.

They laughed, taking turns feeding him the strawberries and licking the juice off Victor’s lips. When he protested that he didn’t want any more his Yuuri held his strawberry out to the sarcastic one and laughed as the sarcastic one bit into it aggressively. Now the sarcastic one was holding out a strawberry to his Yuuri, but, instead of biting into it, Yuuri reached out with his tongue and gave a long slow lick.

Victor struggled for breath.

“Is there any way you could’ve made that more suggestive?” the sarcastic Yuuri asked.

Yuuri’s answer was to demonstrate that, yes, in fact he could.

“Well!” the sarcastic one exclaimed. His lower body was still pressed against Victor’s side and he could feel how much this was exciting even him.

Victor wondered what it was like to see yourself, or someone who looked exactly like yourself, do something suggestive. Then again, it was Yuuri, surely even Yuuri wouldn’t be immune to his own charm!

“I’m going first,” his Yuuri said.

The other Yuuri swore. “You damn well are. Damn!” There was a blush working its way to his face. It really suited him and Victor felt his own heart fill with a tenderness for him. “Do you…?” Yuuri bit his question back and tried to act as if he hadn’t said anything.

“Yes?” his Yuuri asked, raising one eyebrow.

“Do you have any videos?” He swore after the question slipped out. He swallowed and went on. “Snowflake won’t survive through a single minute, I know, but I could always just watch them myself.”

“Snowflake?” Victor repeated, feeling lost.

There was a fond smile on Yuuri’s face now. “ _My_ Victor,” he explained.

“You mean you have a Victor and… and you’re _here_?” He looked from one Yuuri to the other.

His Yuuri gave him a guilty look. “We wanted to give you a treat,” he explained.

He watched the sarcastic Yuuri now. “Will you do the same for your Victor?”

They exchanged a look.

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea,” the sarcastic Yuuri said after a short pause. “I don’t think he’ll survive a single minute of all this.”

“But that’s not fair!” he protested. “Promise me that you will!”

They laughed at that. “That’s my Victor!” his Yuuri exclaimed and nuzzled against him.

Then he sat up, motioned for the other Yuuri to move out of his way and climbed onto Victor’s lap. “Undress me,” he whispered, leaning forward to catch Victor’s lips with his own.

Victor gripped Yuuri’s shoulders and let his hands slide down over his back, down to his waist until he reached the strap of Yuuri’s thong and pulled it down. Yuuri moved his lower body forward to let Victor pull the thong off him and didn’t break the kiss until they got really tangled in it.

He laughed as he freed himself from the thong and then sat up, his hair all dishevelled. He slid his hands back and forth over Victor’s stomach, the smile still on his face. Then he gave the sarcastic Yuuri a triumphant look. “Watch and learn,” he said.

“I’d rather do more than just be a spectator, thanks,” he said, taking his clothes off.

Victor looked from one to the other and watched them share a thought that turned into identical grins on both faces.

His Yuuri turned him over. He ran his hands up and down over Victor’s buttocks and chuckled softly.

“Forgetting something?” the other Yuuri asked.

Even without seeing who was speaking Victor could still tell which of them it was by the tones of their voice.

“I don’t think he’ll thank you, if he can’t walk tomorrow morning,” Yuuri went on.

His Yuuri made an impatient sound. “I didn’t forget.”

Victor closed his eyes, trying to prepare himself for whatever Yuuri would do next. What he wasn’t ready for, however, was for the sarcastic Yuuri to raise his head and slip under him so that he held Victor’s head in his lap.

“I think I want a kiss while we wait for Yuuri to get everything he needs.”

For a brief second he wondered if it was uncomfortable for Yuuri to kiss him like he did and was prepared to get up, but then he felt his Yuuri’s lips on him.

 _Oh my god! I can’t… I can’t breathe!_ He wasn’t ready for this. No one could’ve been ready for this, not for the feel of two Yuuri’s tongues against two entirely different parts of his body.

“Breathe,” the sarcastic Yuuri whispered, breaking the kiss and holding Victor’s head with both hands. “Breathe…” he whispered, pressing his forehead against Victor’s.

He tried, oh how he tried! But he’d made a big mistake. If he’d breathed steadily, then he might’ve managed to get most of his breath back, but he was hungrily gulping down great lungfuls of it and instead of catching air, his lips caught Yuuri.

His head spun. He was ready to faint.

His Yuuri was climbing over him and – oh god! Why now? Why him? The other Yuuri slipped under him completely until he was actually caught between them.

His Yuuri pushed his way in and Victor gasped.

Hands. Yuuri’s hands were all over him, on all sides and holding him in place, grabbing him everywhere they could just below the waist. His hands were moving over the Yuuri under him without any thought on his part.

“Yuuri!” he moaned. “Yu… Yuuri!”

The sarcastic one was whispering something into his ear, but he couldn’t hear a word.

And then just as his Yuuri pulled away he heard it.

“Snowflake…” the other Yuuri was whispering. “My dear, dear Snowflake.”

 _God, he must be as delirious as I am now!_ He gave the bewildered boy a gentle kiss on the cheek. His Yuuri was trailing kisses down his back.

They were one big tangle of limbs and kisses now. Victor turned over and his Yuuri slid off and onto the bed on the other side of him.

Both Yuuris raised their heads at the same time and looked at him. He threw an arm around each of them and gathered them close to his chest. He saw the vulnerable looks on their faces and pulled them closer still to plant a kiss on each of their foreheads.

They wrapped their arms around him, clinging on. Victor closed his eyes. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“For what?” the sarcastic Yuuri whispered into his ear. “We’re nowhere near done. It’s my turn now.”

He felt them rub their noses against each of his cheeks and then press their lips against his face. He wasn’t sure how they were moving almost in unison, but both of them opened their mouths together and trailed the tips of their tongues over his skin.

Two hands were over his heart and then one dropped further down.

“Well, what do you think?” the sarcastic Yuuri asked. “Should we have another go at trying to be a human sandwich?”

His Yuuri pulled away and Victor opened his eyes to watch him lie down on his side, propping his head up. He raised one perfect eyebrow. “I think we need to try something much more exciting.”

 

Yuuri’s head was a mess. He’d never – well, of _course_ , he’d never been in a situation like this, but how many other people could say they’d once been in some sort of… His brain tried to think of a suitable name for it and only one presented itself: _human sex sandwich_. He tried to forget those words, but they blazed in his mind, as if someone had burned them into the inside of his brain.

He tried not to show how shaken he’d felt. He knew he’d been beat, but he was determined to carry on as if this wasn’t the case. He tried not to think about how he’d forgotten where he was with this Victor above him, with his whole body reacting to what the other two were doing and how in a moment of madness he thought his Victor was right there with him.

“Let me guess: you want to tie Victor up?” Yuuri asked and mirrored Yuuri’s pose on the other side of Victor.

“Actually I was thinking of covering Victor with chocolate or cream and then licking it all off,” the other Yuuri corrected, a glint in his eyes. He raised his hand to his face and licked his finger theatrically.

He turned to ask Victor what he would prefer to do and laughed. “He fainted!”

The other Yuuri leaned over Victor with a look of alarm on his face. “No, no he’s just asleep,” he said after several seconds. And then a fond smile appeared on his lips. “My dear Victor’s been working himself too hard, as always.” He planted a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“Now what?” Yuuri asked.

The other Yuuri snuggled up to Victor. “Now we sleep,” he whispered. “Or did you have other plans for tonight?”

He got up and grabbed a handful of the blankets to cover all three of them with. He watched the other Yuuri close his eyes.

“If I had two Victors to myself, I’d give them both a very good time,” he whispered dreamily.

“Of course you would,” he muttered. Hell, he would probably outdo both Victors. Yuuri was damned if he knew how, but this Yuuri probably knew how to do anything, even defy human biology if he needed to.

“Tomorrow we need to go pay a visit to your Victor,” the other Yuuri whispered. “I know my Victor and he won’t let us anywhere near him until we do this.”

Yuuri scoffed. “Hell, mine would do the same thing. It seems our Victors aren’t that different after all.” He thought some more about this. No, his was much more innocent than this one. “My dear Snowflake,” he whispered and rubbed his nose against Victor’s neck.

 _Tomorrow_ , he thought as he drifted off, _tomorrow we’ll find a way to give him a treat. Maybe we’ll pamper him, or something…_

 

Morning came and Yuuri turned over to find the space right next to him empty, but a little way off there was someone else. “Hmmm…” he mumbled softly and moved closer.

The other person pushed him away and he sat up in surprise.

A very angry person lay next to him, giving him a death glare. “You come any closer and I swear to god I’ll strangle you with my bare hands. I bet that’s a trick you don’t know!”

Yuuri put a hand over his own mouth and burst out laughing.

The sarcastic Yuuri sat up. “Yeah, very funny.”

And then he remembered that the space between them was empty and looked around. “Where –”

The bedroom door opened and Victor came in, a big tray in his hands, piled high with food and plates. “Good morning, Yuuri and Yuuri!” he grinned as he set the tray down over their knees. “I thought I’d make you some breakfast as a thank you for last night!”

He saw the other Yuuri open his mouth for a sarcastic remark, probably for something like “this isn’t the right way of saying thank you”, or something else equally insensitive, and jumped in, “Thank you, Victor!”

This was his Victor and _his Victor_ was an incredible cook. His breakfasts were worth all the wild adventures the night before and more.

He dug into breakfast, watching the other Yuuri out of the corner of his eye. When he opened his mouth to comment on the food, Yuuri reached out, caught Victor by the front of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss.

“I love you,” he whispered, pulling away just a little and caught Victor’s mouth with his own a second time.

Victor broke the kiss with a blush and a laugh. “Thank you!” He turned to look at the other Yuuri, ignored the sarcastic arch of his eyebrow and gave him a kiss too.

Something turned inside Yuuri’s heart at the sight. _No, we’re never doing this again,_ he thought with a sudden determination. _Last night was fun, but I will never agree to do that with our positions swapped._

“Well, eat up,” Victor said, giving them both a radiant smile, “and then you’ll have to go and visit the other me.” He got up off the bed and made for the door. “I wonder what he’s like,” he said as he walked out.

The sarcastic Yuuri stared after him. “Not as different from you as I thought,” he whispered with a faint blush on his cheeks.

Yuuri ate, pretending he hadn’t noticed anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri (the Yuuri from Comes Love, not the one from Bad Apple haha) sings [Froot by Marina and the Diamonds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZzcY7ASQno).


	3. In Good Hands

Victor couldn’t help the feeling of guilt that stole over him when he finally returned home that evening. He should’ve talked his aunt into letting Yuuri come too. He should’ve only gone for a day. He should’ve left Makkachin behind to keep Yuuri company. But he’d done none of those things.

He went up the stairs, wondering if there was any way he could make it up to Yuuri. Makkachin bounded ahead of him, barking excitedly, as if urging him to go faster.

He rang the doorbell, getting ready to apologize and to offer Yuuri anything he wanted as compensation. Beside him Makkachin barked to be let in.

Yuuri opened the door and Victor felt his heart ache. In that moment of reunion with his dear husband he realized just how much he’d missed him.

Yuuri looked the same as always – in a pair of black leather pants and a black shirt with a swearword written on it in big white letters. Victor caught sight of the leather jacket hanging in the hallway just as Yuuri pulled him in, closing the door behind him.

“Hello, Yuuri! I m –” he began, but Yuuri cut him off with a kiss, pushing Victor against the door.

He melted at the touch of Yuuri’s tongue, opening his mouth and giving in completely. Yuuri’s hands gripped his waist and he rested his own on Yuuri’s shoulders.

 _Mine,_ Yuuri’s whole attitude said, making Victor’s head spin like always.

 _Yours,_ he tried to tell Yuuri with every inch of his body. _Yours and no one else’s._

He wanted Yuuri to push against him, to get them both worked up and then drag them into the bedroom, but Yuuri pulled away.

There was a look on his face Victor couldn’t understand. “There’s someone here,” Yuuri whispered. He didn’t add “I want you to meet” and Victor wondered why.

When Yuuri led him into the kitchen he knew why.

There was another Yuuri in the apartment with them. He sat at the kitchen table in a red sequin dress that was just too short and a pair of gold heels that sparkled so much it hurt to look at them. There was makeup on his face and…

The world faded away.

 

“I told you this would happen.”

Victor opened his eyes to stare up into Yuuri’s face. He was scowling at someone else.

“Don’t you have any regular clothes?” Yuuri went on. “You know, for just walking down the street like a normal person? Or are you just trying to make a point?”

The other Yuuri – and, here, Victor was afraid he would faint again – said nothing.

Victor tried to rise to his feet and his eye fell on the other Yuuri again.

He uncrossed his legs and stood up and…

…And the world faded to black again.

 

“And someone like you is married to this innocent boy?”

Victor opened his eyes a second time. Two Yuuris were leaning over him. One of them was gently caressing his face with his hands and Victor had a pretty good guess as to which one it was.

“I thought you were exaggerating. I didn’t realize you were serious,” the new Yuuri went on and gave Victor a smile. “Hello, Victor.”

He could feel the sequins brushing against his side. This Yuuri was really beautiful and this close Victor could see where the dress was sliding down a little to reveal something made out of lace underneath.

 _Focus_ , he told himself. _Think about something else. I can’t just keep fainting like this._

He swallowed and rose to his feet. “S-sorry about that,” he stammered out and held out his hand.

Yuuri gave him a surprised look and gave him his own.

Victor planted a soft kiss over the boy’s knuckles. Then he smiled at his Yuuri. “Will you introduce us?”

“Yuuri, meet Victor, Victor, meet Yuuri. Why am I getting a sense of déjà vu?” Yuuri muttered.

“You must be my dear husband’s relative,” Victor said and gave him a bright smile. “I wish Yuuri, I mean my husband Yuuri, had warned me. I would’ve come home earlier and cooked something for you.” He turned towards the stove, but his dear husband caught him by the arms.

“No, this Yuuri _isn’t_ a relative,” he hissed. “This Yuuri is me. Look, I know we’re completely different people, but we’re also, _somehow_ , the same person.”

“Oh.” Victor gave them both a confused look. And then he had an odd thought. “So I’m married to two people now? Isn’t that against the law?”

“That really _is_ where your brain goes, isn’t it?” his Yuuri asked. Well, weren’t they _both_ his Yuuris now? Victor puzzled over this and what to mentally call them.

“Let’s put it this way,” the new Yuuri said, “I’m yours for tonight.”

Victor turned deep red. He’d been married long enough to know what “for tonight” meant. He dropped into a chair and gave his Yuuri, his for-more-than-one-night, Yuuri a helpless look. “Um… I thought we’d spend tonight together. I… don’t really… um…”

There was that odd look on Yuuri’s face again.

“What Yuuri is avoiding telling you,” the new Yuuri said, “is that we’re both yours tonight.” He watched Victor, as if waiting for a response of some kind.

“Oh,” he said. So maybe this was the other kind of “for tonight” after all. “That’s alright, then.” He smiled and then wondered why it was like this, but then again, he’d learned long ago that there were many things in the world he couldn’t understand: quantum mechanics, or why there were so many terrible people in the world, or why he was so madly in love with Yuuri. “Do you want to watch a movie together?” he asked.

“We made you dinner,” the old Yuuri cut in, throwing the other one a look.

“You shouldn’t have!”

But they sat him down and served him food and then gave him their full attention. He told them about his time at auntie’s and asked what the new Yuuri did for a living.

“He has a Ph. D. in seduction,” the old Yuuri answered for him. “He’ll strip for you, if you ask him to. And he won’t just take his clothes off either. No, that’s too boring for him. He’ll make a whole musical number of it and tease you with the sight of his ass just in case you forgot what it looks like.”

“Oh, kind of like what you did for our stag party!” Victor exclaimed.

He saw the smile the new Yuuri threw at the old one and wondered what it meant. “I can strip for you right now,” he offered in a voice that sent shivers up his spine.

Victor blushed deeply and looked at his own Yuuri.

“Do you want me to strip too?” he asked with an amused expression.

But the new Yuuri didn’t bother to wait for a response: he merely stepped onto a chair and then onto the table, standing right in front of Victor.

Victor raised his eyes and fainted again.

 

He really was very innocent Yuuri thought as he stood on the table and watched the other Yuuri fuss over his unconscious husband.

“I’m fine…” Victor mumbled, surfacing again, one hand clutched to his heart.

It had been a long time since he’d made someone faint so many times in one night.

Yuuri swung his hips and danced with his arms raised and his eyes closed.

“Here he goes with the stripping again,” the other Yuuri muttered. “Breathe, Victor.”

Yuuri couldn’t help the memory that crept up at those words: his Victor gasping under him, his whole body reacting to his touch as the other Yuuri held him and helped him continue breathing.

“Y-Yuuri…?” this Victor asked his husband.

“Yeah?”

“Um…”

On the table Yuuri slid his hands over his thighs, raising his already very short dress up and watching Victor turn redder with every second. There was sweat trickling down the side of his face. Yuuri slid a hand over his inner thigh, but decided not to risk it. He released his dress and Victor breathed out.

Yuuri stepped right up to him and something fell onto the table. It was Yuuri’s thong.

Victor fainted again.

“Get off the table,” the other Yuuri growled. “Grab your stuff and just go. Forget our plans. I don’t care what the other Victor said, this isn’t going to work.”

“Other Victor?” this Victor asked, coming to his senses again.

“Oh yes,” Yuuri said, stepping out of his thong and then dropping to his knees to pick it up. “Your Yuuri and I spent last night with him,” he explained, trying to suggest with the tone of his voice just what “spending last night” meant.

He watched them. Yuuri glared, but remained silent. Victor considered the meaning of his words.

When no explosion followed Yuuri added, “I wanted to give my Victor a treat, so I bullied your Yuuri into having sex with him and me.”

Surprisingly, Victor didn’t faint at those words.

“And now I’m here to return the favour,” Yuuri announced, rising to his feet and putting his hands on his hips. Except that it was all a waste of time. His Victor, for all his innocence, enjoyed wild nights. This Victor fainted at the mere sound of the words “wild nights”.

Victor furrowed his brow. “How do three people have sex?”

“Uncomfortably,” the sarcastic Yuuri replied.

He resisted the urge to snap back. This was it. This was his cue to go. Tell his Victor he was done and laugh the whole incident off. He climbed off the table and prepared to leave.

But innocent wasn’t the same thing as stupid, as this Victor soon proved.

“So that’s why…” He put his hand over that of his husband. “You don’t need to feel guilty. It’s not cheating. Not really.” He flashed his Yuuri a smile. “So don’t feel bad about it, ok?”

The other Yuuri muttered something about jealousy and how yes this _did_ count. “The other one insisted we do this for you too,” his Yuuri added after a while.

“Really? So you made me dinner?” Victor asked.

It was interesting to watch the other Yuuri’s face as he tried to explain that he didn’t think that Victor would survive a night like the previous one had been.

Victor put a finger over Yuuri’s lips to silence him. “Yuuri,” he cut in, “you both decided to give me a treat, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then I promise I won’t faint, if you treat me like you did the other me,” he said as if that settled everything. “But first,” he pushed his plate away, “I think I’d rather start by baking with both of you.” He looked at the Yuuri who was getting ready to leave. “Can I ask for something?” he stammered out, blushing.

Yuuri dropped into a chair and reclined in it, feeling curious. “Ask away.”

“C-can you wear leather, please?”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise and he stared at the other Yuuri.

That one merely shrugged. “You heard the boss.”

 

They were cutting up fruits when the burlesque dancer returned. He stood against the doorframe in a tight red leather dress that had no straps and opened up at the top to split down the middle. If it had been on a woman, then, no doubt, someone would’ve described it as very décolleté. Yuuri wasn’t sure if the word applied to men. There was a garter belt around one of his thighs that held a small gun, which he pulled out as he slipped up behind Victor. “I heard you liked danger, babe,” he breathed into his ear, holding the gun to his chin with one hand as the other hand slipped into his top pocket.

Yuuri resisted the urge to burst out laughing. “What’s that supposed to be? A sexy version of me?”

The dancer stepped away and flipped the gun in his hand. “I can do anything, wear anything (or nothing) and I’ll still be a sexy version of you. No special costume is required.” He made sure that Victor turned to watch him as he slid the gun back in its place. He slid his hand over his inner thigh and only then did Yuuri notice his red fingernails.

He turned away and watched Victor instead.

Victor’s face was all red, but he gave a little nod, as if this had all met with his approval. _Is that enough leather for you?_ Yuuri wondered and then tried to remember where he’d left his leather gloves.

The three of them stood before the stove as Victor went on cooking and the two Yuuris did their best to help. Their hips were pressed against Victor’s and there was something comforting about that closeness.

It was midnight. They’d already had dinner and no one was actually hungry, but Victor was making a complicated dessert, feeding them both pieces of fruit from time to time. He stuck his index finger in the pan with the melted white chocolate and pulled it out.

Both Yuuris reached for it.

“Guests first,” Victor said and slid the finger over the burlesque dancer’s nose. That Yuuri closed his eyes with his lips slightly parted and waited for a taste.

Yuuri, getting bored and a little impatient, dunked his thumb in it and smeared the chocolate over Victor’s cheek only to lean forward and lick it off.

They were supposed to dunk fruit in the chocolate and eat it, but instead they found themselves covering each other’s faces with it and licking it off.

“Snowflake,” Yuuri whispered into his ear after a good ten minutes of this.

“My dear snowflake,” the other Yuuri echoed.

“Y-yes?” Victor asked with a faint tremble.

“We want to give you a bath,” Yuuri said. “Come on. Forget dessert. I have something much better in mind.” He took Victor by the arm and dragged him out of the room.

Victor hesitated as soon as they entered the bathroom. He watched Yuuri toss his shirt and pants off and Yuuri couldn’t help feeling a little smug at the attention he was getting. Here he was, taking off his normal clothes like anyone else would (more or less), and Victor was unable to tear his eyes away.

Yuuri turned on the tap to fill the bathtub and sat down beckoning Victor over with his finger. “Come on, Snowflake. No need to be shy.”

Victor turned bright red. “But… We won’t all… fit.”

“We’ll think of something,” Yuuri promised. He watched Victor pull his clothes off without comment, but when Victor climbed into the bathtub Yuuri spread his legs apart and sat his husband down between them. “Alright, Victor Nikiforov successfully in the bath.”

The other Yuuri handed him a shampoo bottle and stopped in front of them, as if by accident, to unzip his dress. As Yuuri expected, he was wearing absolutely nothing underneath. He took his garter belt off and climbed in after Victor, armed only with a bar of soap.

And, so, piling on top of each other, they managed to fit. Yuuri scrubbed his husband’s hair while the other Yuuri rubbed soap over Victor’s body. There was definitely a lot of rubbing involved and Victor’s body. The soap? Not so much.

Victor threw his head back, nearly hitting Yuuri and gasped as the other Yuuri rubbed his thumbs over Victor’s nipples. He caught Yuuri’s eye and gave him a knowing smile. “Just a light massage, nothing to get so excited about.”

“Will you _massage_ Victor’s dick next?” Yuuri shot back.

The burlesque dancer leaned forward, raising his shoulder playfully. The tip of his nose touched Victor’s as his hands slid down over the living legend’s torso. “Do you want me to, Victor?”

Victor swallowed nervously, stammered something incoherent out and then swallowed.

The other Yuuri pulled away and the smile on his face became forced.

“Later,” Victor stammered out at last.

One eyebrow shot up and the smile widened. “I promise to give you a massage like you’ve never had before,” he breathed out.

Yuuri cleared his throat meaningfully and went on shampooing Victor’s hair.

“And I promise to teach you how I do it,” Yuuri added, not missing a beat. He sat on Victor’s legs, sliding his hands over them playfully.

Yuuri said nothing and wondered if Victor would stay conscious long enough to enjoy their bath together, never mind all the possible massages or rides later. But determination pulled Victor through and it wasn’t long before they climbed out of the bathtub and wrapped Victor in fluffy towels to rub him dry.

He gave them both a big smile.

“Now that you’re all clean,” the other Yuuri whispered while standing behind Victor and rubbing his back dry, “it’s time to get you dirty again.”

Victor blushed and swayed a little on his feet. Catching the expression on his husband’s face, he silenced him with his hand. “Can you lend my husband your lipstick, please?” he asked the other Yuuri.

“And I’ll lend him a pair of leather gloves?” Yuuri the husband suggested.

Victor nodded and walked in the direction of the bedroom.

Yuuri watched him go to make sure he didn’t faint.

This time the burlesque dancer didn’t comment on Victor’s request (it should’ve been normal by his standards, anyway). He merely went to find his deep red lipstick while Yuuri retrieved his extra pair of gloves.

 

Victor stood completely naked in the bedroom, waiting for both Yuuris to join him. His heart beat fast in his chest and he took deep breaths, hoping he would make it through the night without fainting. He tried not to imagine what awaited him, just to focus on his breathing.

Despite all the fainting, despite the embarrassment, his heart sang. He’d spent the past few days in auntie’s house sleeping alone with only Makkachin for company. He'd missed this intimacy more than he could say.

They walked in together, looking completely identical this time, wearing nothing but black leather gloves and deep red lipstick. One Yuuri took the spot behind him while the other was in front.

“Hello,” Victor said weakly and felt like an idiot.

The Yuuri in front of him put his gloved hands on his chest and slipped them over to his shoulders, which he held on to as he planted a kiss on Victor’s chest.

Victor stared down at the imprint left behind by the red lipstick.

The Yuuri behind him kissed his back and he knew there was a red imprint where Yuuri’s lips had touched his skin.

They took turns, planting kisses and shifting down inch by inch, dropping lower, taking it slow, caressing his skin with gentle strokes of the fingers before leaving a red mark.

A kiss for the abdomen and one for the small of his back.

Victor breathed heavily.

They were both on their knees now, on either side of him. One Yuuri was holding his hips with just enough force that Victor could feel his fingers on his skin and studying the view in front of him as if it was an exhibit in a museum. The other Yuuri placed a kiss on one cheek and then the other.

It was getting harder and harder to breathe. He swallowed nervously. Whatever Yuuri chose to do now, he wouldn’t faint.

There were four hands on his hips, holding him in place, and then the Yuuri in front took his prize.

Victor closed his eyes and breathed.

A faint sound reached his ears and he held his breath for a moment to try and make out what it was.

One of the Yuuris was giving the other one instructions on what to do! He almost burst out laughing as realization dawned.

But he could feel hot breath on one cheek and then a finger – or was it several? – sliding up slowly between both cheeks.

Breathing. He had to keep thinking about breathing. In. Out. It didn’t matter how heavy it sounded, as long as he was still getting air in his lungs.

He could feel the touch of the lips of the Yuuri in front of him and wondered if there would be lipstick stains afterwards.

The other Yuuri pulled his fingers away and rose to his feet to put his hands on Victor’s shoulders. This was the stripper, Victor was sure of it.

He kissed the back of Victor’s neck and stepped up really close until his chest touched Victor’s back. “Snowflake,” he whispered just as his Yuuri pulled away.

“Let’s switch,” his Yuuri suggested.

“Ride me,” Victor pleaded, catching Yuuri’s eye as he rose to his feet and then, remembering that there were three, not two of them, he blushed. “I… um… I don’t know what the other Yuuri should do.”

“I’m sure he’ll find something to do,” his husband said. “Do you have any socks that need darning?” He laughed. “I was just joking.”

The other Yuuri went on as if he hadn’t heard anything. He put his hands on Victor’s shoulders and pulled him towards the bed, backing away against it. His forehead was resting against Victor’s and he moved, as if inviting Victor to a dance.

“Can you tango?” Yuuri whispered softly.

“A bit,” Victor admitted.

“Then follow my lead.” But he didn’t dance, he just dropped onto the bed, taking Victor with him and then shifted upwards into a more comfortable position.

 

Yuuri followed them before they got too carried away. This really was tricky with three people, especially when two of them kept chasing the third and stayed away from each other as much as they could.

“Talk about one hell of a ride,” he muttered under his breath, a bottle out and ready in his hand.

The other Yuuri was demonstrating what else he knew about massages, which probably meant that waiting was a good idea, but Yuuri was never good at that. Not when his eyes fell on Victor’s best feature.

He always enjoyed staring at Victor’s backside, especially when the man climbed out of the bathtub in front of him and there was water trickling everywhere, but now the sight was marred by three lipstick imprints.

Maybe the other Yuuri thought it was funny, but not this Yuuri. Oh he didn’t care about the lipstick on Victor’s back and maybe not even so much on each cheek. No, it was the one on the border between back and buttocks that really bothered him.

He caught Victor as he climbed over him and rubbed at the imprint with his fingers.

Victor moaned, his whole body reacting to the touch.

But the wretched imprint refused to be rubbed off.

Yuuri gripped Victor’s hips tighter and bent down to try and lick the imprint off.

It made no sense. It was completely ridiculous. All he had to do was wait until they were all done and then just let Victor take a bath, but no, for some reason, the mark was really irritating him.

Alternating between using his tongue and his fingers he finally managed to rub it off.

Victor made desperate noises below him, pleading and begging for Yuuri to take him already.

Feeling like an idiot, Yuuri squeezed the contents of the bottle out onto his hand. He was supposed to take it easy. This wasn’t the time to test Victor’s patience. That damn stripper was still below Victor and god knew what he was doing now. He had to make sure Victor would make it through the night, damn it all!

He was working Victor open now. _Sorry Snowflake, I got carried away. I hope like hell that idiot stripper is doing whatever he can to keep you from fainting!_

There was a Yuuri below him and a Yuuri above and Victor was sure he wouldn’t live to tell the tale tomorrow morning. His heart beat so fast he was convinced it would jump out of his chest any minute and run away.

The new Yuuri stroked and flattered him. He had that confident smile that said, “You’re in good hands.” There was that air of glamour about him, making Victor think of celebrities who appeared on TV, who everyone had a crush on and who remained forever out of everyone’s reach. And he was the one under Victor and moaning softly.

His own Yuuri was holding him tightly with one hand, as his other hand hovered just a little too high for Victor. _Lower_ , Victor pleaded mentally, _just a little lower._

He wasn’t ready for the touch of Yuuri’s tongue or the way his body responded.

He couldn’t understand what was happening anymore. There was a Yuuri above him, feeling around, working his way in, opening him up… And now he was riding him and there was Yuuri’s face before him, giving him a gentle smile. Hands were gripping him tightly by the hips and another pair of hands was stroking his back slowly, as if to calm him down.

“Yuuri… Yurochka,” he moaned.

 

He was getting carried away again and he could hear it in Victor’s voice. Was this too much? How was he to know?

Yuuri lowered his eyes and watched the other Yuuri’s gloved hands stroke Victor’s back with slow, regular movements. He followed their steady rhythm, forgetting everything else, trusting the other Yuuri to keep Victor conscious.

It really _was_ one hell of a ride. He wasn’t sure whether the other Yuuri actually did anything, but Victor made it through without fainting.

When Yuuri pulled away and dropped onto the bed by Victor’s side the living legend turned around, put his arms around Yuuri and gave him a tender kiss. Yuuri clung on with his eyes closed. The other Yuuri embraced Victor from behind. They were all too out of breath for words.

Victor nuzzled against Yuuri’s neck as Yuuri felt himself drift off. He was too tired to fight to stay awake, or to end the night on a sarcastic comment.

Besides, he was back where he belonged, so what else did he…

 

Morning came, the sun’s rays fell in through the window, where they’d forgotten to close the blinds, and hit the opposite wall.

“Hmm…” Here he was – still in Victor’s embrace and it was so warm. He wiggled into a more comfortable position, so that more of him was pressed against Victor’s body and smiled.

Yes, this was the life.

 

Yuuri woke up with his cheek pressed against Victor’s back. The Victor who wasn’t _his_ Victor slept on and, well, the night was over and morning came, reminding him that there was someone waiting at home for him.

He got up, showered as quickly as he could and got dressed all while they slept on.

Yuuri paused in the doorway and turned back to smile at the sight of Victor and Yuuri, arms tangled around each other, legs a criss-crossing chaos – together, as it had to be.

He tiptoed back, picked the blankets up from the floor and covered them.

For a moment he hesitated and then leaned down and planted a kiss on each forehead. The other Yuuri’s forehead creased in his sleep. His hair was a mess. No longer gelled back, it fell onto his face and almost reached his eyes.

The wedding rings gleamed as the two skaters clung on to each other in their sleep.

Yuuri turned away and left the room. He paused in front of the hallway mirror and smiled at his reflection. With a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, he raised his hands and pulled his hair out of his face, imitating that slicked-back look and scowled like someone who hated the world. He broke out into a smile again and fixed his hair.

“Leaving so soon?”

He turned to see both of them standing in the hallway.

“I have someone waiting for me,” Yuuri reminded them.

Victor – not _his_ Victor, just someone who was very much like him – gave him an enthusiastic hug. “Won’t you introduce us? It’s only fair.”

He didn’t argue. He _couldn’t_ argue. After all, he couldn’t deny Victor anything, not even _this_ Victor.

So he waited for them to shower and get dressed and prepared himself for introductions. He prepared himself for the deep loneliness he knew he would find in his Victor’s eyes and for whatever else would follow.

 

The waiter didn’t say anything about the four people sitting at the table by the window. He took their order without a single comment, only asking to double-check he hadn’t missed anything. For some reason it didn’t seem to bother him that the only customers that morning looked like someone had taken a pair of people and cloned both of them.

“Why are you glaring at the waiter, Yuuri?” Victor asked.

“Doesn’t it bother you that he didn’t make any comment about… well this…” he made a vague gesture with his arm, “this cloning experiment gone wild?”

They all laughed.

“Maybe he doesn’t care,” a different Victor replied. He threw a look at his Yuuri as his hand stroked his lover’s hand tenderly.

The burlesque dancer settled into his usual relaxed pose, crossing his legs as if he was doing something really dirty. “I’m sure he’s had all sorts of visitors here.”

He was in a pair of very tight black pants and a white lace top that was so see-through that it had to be illegal to wear in most parts of the world.

Both Victors had their eyes on Yuuri Katsuki, Japan’s top figure skater and still one of the most dangerous people in the world. He’d kept his leather jacket on and sat like someone who had both a gun and more than one knife hidden on his person.

“I propose a toast,” the Victor who didn’t faint at the merest opportunity announced and held his cup of tea up in the air to more amusement from the others. “To Yuuri Katsuki.”

“To Victor Nikiforov,” both Yuuris said almost in unison.

The teacups all clinked against each other and everyone drank.

 

Evening fell over the city of St. Petersburg. Yuuri lay in bed, mostly naked save for a pair of stiletto heels. His eyes were closed and he moaned softly as Victor planted kiss after kiss on his right leg, starting with his thigh and making his way to the burlesque dancer’s foot.

He paused to unbuckle the shoe and toss it aside. He gave Yuuri another three kisses and paused with the leg still in his hands and still raised. “I’m sorry I’ve been really inconsiderate,” he whispered, gently stroking Yuuri’s foot with his hand.

Yuuri gasped and opened his eyes. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I should’ve organized something with the other Victor to make sure you got a good time,” Victor explained, lowering Yuuri’s leg. “I promise to stay awake the whole night long this time.”

Yuuri chuckled. “No, the other Victor is way too innocent for my needs.” He put his arms around Victor’s back and pulled him close to whisper into his ear, “Besides, I’m not sure two Victors will be enough for me.” He laughed at the embarrassment on Victor’s face and kissed him.

“But… but what can you do with more?” Victor asked, breaking the kiss and frowning.

Yuuri watched Victor’s imagination run into a wall and laughed harder. Let him puzzle over this one. This was a conversation for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A question I know I shouldn’t ask, but still: does anyone want Yuuri + multiple Victors?
> 
> …Or should I just leave that to the reader’s imagination? Yeah, let’s say for now that you are free to imagine whatever you like. (Hint: think of The Devil Wears Gucci Victor)
> 
> And if anyone is wondering "How many Victors does Yuuri the burlesque dancer need?" ...I'd say about fifteen.
> 
> Thank you for reading! (And bearing with this nonsense hahaha) As always, thanks for the comments and kudos!


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